Humans
by Hihippy
Summary: Castiel muses on humanity and what he has learnt. Spoilers for the end of season 5. oneshot.


The Winchesters were news, important news, pretty much as soon after the first Church had been established and God had walked upon the earth.

It is almost typical to look back now, to see all that the angels were interested in as soon as the world had been created was its destruction.

But that's what the angels were like. They didn't actually think about what the _point _was. They just saw a beginning and an end.

Castiel can see now that they were missing out on the most important part. He cannot help but wonder if some of the angels were just as bad as Lucifer, with their lack of compassion for the Beings that their Father created, and loved even more than He does the angels. He is still surprised sometimes that such mere thought does not result in him Falling, but he supposes he is still adjusting to the fact of thinking for himself.

He is angry at his Father, of course. Terribly angry that He did not step in and respond to him when Castiel needed Him most. But at the same time, he learnt a lot. He muses now whether He hasn't responded for a reason.

It surprises him that after everything, he still_ hopes_ that this is the case.

If Castiel was still up in Heaven, still following orders like a 'good little soldier', not doubting what he was told to do and not thinking what the consequences would be, and that the prophecies must still be followed, he wouldn't have this _hope_, just absolute necessity.

But then he also wouldn't have this doubt. He guesses this is what it is like to be Human.

He doesn't doubt in the sense that most Humans do. He does not doubt that there is a God, his Father, somewhere. He just doubts about whether He actually meets his own expectations.

But having spent time around Humans, he learns that this is also a Human 'thing'.

It is curious, having these Human emotions. Most angels scoff at the idea Humans are so - 'picky' - and believe that Paradise is the ultimate answer, not a world that these flawed humans have corrupted.

Castiel is a stranger to most emotions, but he has learnt. Being around two brothers - two brothers, whose fates have caused them to bear a lot more than most human ever would do. Dean is, ah, rather aggressive at the best of times and Sam, he does not have the best self-discipline for when it is most vital.

Yet they see people in trouble, people who need help, people who do not appreciate the two brother's help but they save these people no matter the case, simply because they believe it is the right thing to do. Castiel has seen many a devout person in time and many people with a strong faith, but there is something so strangely unique about the Winchesters.

They have one of the strongest faiths he has ever seen, but it does not rest either in His Father or another god, but in each other and what they do.

It is interesting.

Castiel knows and can sense how strong their Hearts, their Souls are because of it.

He raised Dean's soul from Hell itself, and he has seen what it was at the very core. While he can sense people and read them in under a second, there is something very conscious about seeing a man's soul in the middle of Hell. Up until that point Castiel had never had to enter Hell itself, but for some reason every angel instinctively knows what it is like, what it contains. Up until the recent apocalypse it was believed to be the only other place that an angel could die and not return.

When Castiel had taken Dean's Soul, he knew what The Righteous Man had done, how he had broken under Hell's pressures and the cracks and splinters to his soul shone through like a shattered window pane. There were scars that were not even from Hell but would still be irreparable. Yet he set to work, building his Soul from the tiniest atom to the last hair strand. While his whole garrison of brothers had joined him down there he was the one who had been chosen to personally take care of this craft, the one deemed responsible to put this man in his charge. While he never quite understood the orders and while it was him who had been chosen, he believes (hopes) that if it came directly from His Father, then everything that has happened, outside of the scriptures, was planned by Him himself, and Castiel is not in the wrong place.

What he noticed most however was not how shattered and broken Dean's Soul was, though, but how easily it was to put back together. There were scars and pieces never meant to be put together again, but it was as though even his soul was fighting its way back together under his fingertips. Dean would never remember this occasion, as an angel's touch in the deepest part of Hell would send anything into a stupor, but it still fascinates the angel even now, to witness how strong this Soul truly was. How human, and yet determined.

He admits he is still a little wary of Sam's nature, because despite anyone's efforts to avoid prophecies or destiny, some futures just fall together. However, what is interesting with Sam is the similar strength he has with his brother. Castiel has learnt as an angel that two powers going against each other, particularly brothers, would end in disaster, but seeing the Winchesters together he realises that this power, while they held it individually, it grew when they drew off each other.

This, he think, is what separated them so vastly from their destined vessels. While the scriptures do say one thing is it possible that they didn't predict what he has learnt is the unpredictability of Human Nature. While Michael and Lucifer were brothers, close ones, they were not human. They are deprived of human emotions, and as a result, their strength.

It is why Sam Winchester overpowered Lucifer in the end, and threw himself into the Pit. He drew the strength - _Love,_ from Dean. Michael and Lucifer had never had that power. Angels had powers of strength and miracles, which are why they overestimated the power that Humans can have, a power that no other creature is truly capable of, Castiel has now learnt.

It is not surprising anymore, he has realised, why humans are Father's most Beloved Creations.

He has learnt many things about humanity being with the Winchesters. He is aware how it has changed himself. After surviving the apocalypse, however, he must return to Heaven. He hopes with his newfound knowledge that his own brothers can learn too.

Somehow, he doubts it also.


End file.
